Healing from Emotional Neglect: Reclaiming Your Self-Worth.

Restoring the Lost  Pieces was my journey to Self-Worth -  Rachel

From a personal perspective, I've realised that working on my self-worth didn't just start with journalling, self-care, grounding techniques, or meditation. The healing process began by restoring the lost pieces, understanding why I behave the way I do, acknowledging my privileges in society, and recognising the challenges of being the eldest sibling in the home.
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I remember looking after my siblings, cooking dinner and cleaning the house before I could even ask, "Can I play out?" Growing up in South London before gaming took over the world, there was a freedom to socialise and develop life skills when playing outside. As the oldest, I've come to understand through counselling that my upbringing involved more responsibility than that of my siblings, which is a common experience.
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Although my basic needs were met, I felt emotionally unsupported because my mother was not there for me in that way. At the time, I didn't have the words to express or even realise that my childhood lacked emotional support. The truth is, all my friends came from similar backgrounds; we were physically cared for but lacked emotional support. We all felt loved, but we rarely heard the words “I love you.” Expressions of love were not shown like in American movies. Love was communicated differently, often through actions rather than words. Those movies always made me question what love really is, which had a significant impact on my self-worth as an adult.
This article will explore how childhood emotional neglect impacts self-esteem and self-worth in adulthood and provide strategies to heal these wounds. I hope this read will offer you the insights needed to begin reclaiming your self-worth and building a healthier, more fulfilling life.
 
Therapeutic Work - Chantel’s Story

When Chantel first came to me, she was on the verge of leaving her partner. She felt deeply undervalued and couldn't understand why she kept ending up in unhealthy relationships. As we built a strong therapeutic relationship, Chantel began to open up about her past. Through our sessions, she started to see how her upbringing had shaped her current behaviour patterns. Chantel realised that her childhood experiences, particularly those where she felt neglected and unworthy, were influencing her choices in men. She often attracted emotionally unavailable partners—the ones who never listened, forgot birthdays, and dismissed her emotional needs.
By exploring these connections, Chantel gained invaluable insights into the origins of her low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. She recognised that her tendency to seek out partners who mirrored her childhood experiences was a way of unconsciously trying to 'fix' her past. With this new awareness, she began working on breaking the cycle of emotional neglect by prioritising her self-worth and setting healthier boundaries in her relationships. Chantel's journey wasn't easy, but with each session, she moved closer to making more fulfilling and healthy decisions when starting and building her relationships.

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